I'm just heavy in college work.
Sorry, I'll try and do a proper blog ASAP.
I'm going to go and work out how to change the layout now.

Peaceoutt
I love you all.
<3

August already.
This years gone too fast.
In fact, I swear as you become older, the years become much faster.
It's weird to think that this time last year, I was just about to get my GCSE results.
To find out that I failed a few, and didn't get anything higher than a D.
This year, instead.. I'm getting my Math's GCSE results - retook it.. and then the week after this one, I'm getting my BTEC results.
I'm not going back to school in September, instead I'm moving on to College.
Something, I thought I'd never do.
When I was younger, I had my life all planned out, where I was going to go to school, what I was going to study, if I was going to sixth form or not, what I wanted to become when I was older.
All of that probably changed when I was around 9 or 10 when I was hit with my second bashful of school phobia, the first blew over after a few months. But the second time, was even worse. I was dreadful, I'd lock myself in the bathroom, I wouldn't go out. I'd pretend I was sick - I'd stay in bed until my Mum left to take my brothers to school, then I'd sneak on to the computer and watch Youtube videos. Then I'd turn the computer off and go back to bed when Mum came back.
I had to move school because of it - even getting myself into school was trouble (a few teachers had to drive to my house, and literally carry me into school), and I missed my Year 9 SAT's, and I had over 6 month off from school.
Then my GCSE year, when I was 15, in Year 11. I got hit with school phobia again.
I was so scared that I'd go back to doing what I did when I had school phobia before.
I lost all my friends again, and I still haven't got most of their trust, or friendship.
I had to go to councelling again, and the first move back into school was to go to my school prom.. Which I think I'm glad to have done so, because that was my first step of going back to normality.
I went to 6th form last year for only one year - instead of two. Because of my low grades.
I decided that even though I could do proper A Levels after this BTEC, I didn't want to be stuck in school around the same people who hated me the previous year.
So now, I'm going towards something that I would have never thought I'd get to.
College.
To do Secretarial Administration.
I would have never thought of doing this, it's odd how your life never goes the way you want it to go, but everything happens for a reason.

When I was younger. I wanted to stay at the strict private school. Do 6th form, and go to university.
Now, I don't think I want to go to University.
Straight after this year at College, I'm going out into the big world. To work.
I'm also auditioning for many parts in plays, and television series.
As my ambition has always been wanting to become an actress, okay, not always - i wanted to become a nurse until I discovered blood was involved.

Weird how your life never plans to go the way you want it to go.
But sometimes, thats for the best.

Ugh, tomorrow morning I embark on a 5 hour car drive to Cornwall.
I hope its warm, cos it's going to be crap if it isn't.

The annoying thing is I don't have an iPod. Instead I have to do with this really crap MP3 player, that I was literally forced to get. I miss my iPod.
I was always attached to it, I find it hard even now, and I haven't had it since February.

I'm not going to enjoy this weekend, I'm spending it with my Mum & Dad's old University friends, who are like strangers to me.
I'm going to be the oldest there, everyone else is going to be below the age of 12, and I'm 17.

I won't be able to have the internet, or music, or even my phone - as its been taken off from me for already 2 weeks, and I'm not getting it back for another 2 weeks. Cos of something my brothers did, and me being the youngest I get the blame straight on me.

Ugh.
Well, I really don't have anything to say now.
Except.. I hope to hell that my music has all converted into the correct format for my MP3 before tomorrow. Otherwise I will literally die of boredom.
I'm off to pack.. and talk on Dougiefied. Adios for now :)!

On Wednesday I was on the news, for watching a special screening of Mamma Mia, some famous people were there too!
Which was awesome, and I was in the background ahha.
My mum was next to me, she looked superly bored which was fricking hilarious!

It was an immense night, and we got a free dinner at Nandos!
mm, once I work out how to work livejournal (help?) I'll add some icons or something!
<3

Today was great!
(Though i didn't get the most wanted things I asked for.. an iPod, and a new phone :( )

The reunion was awesome, it was rather odd seeing people I hadn't seen for 8 years.
Haha, but phwoar, my old school crush is simply rather.. just.. WOW. He's definitely improved in good-looking-ness over the years.
Phwoar, annoyingly he had his girlfriend there, which made me confused as to why he was flirting with Zaja.. but anywhos.

It was weird though, cos everyone has kind of kept in touch or are still going to the same schools.. and me, I was like out of place.. cos I hadn't, and I didn't know what they were like.
But seriously my old school best chum, Johnny (man.. hes awesome) he kind of settled me in.
Oh and they all sang happy birthday to me haha, i was rather embarrassed (they were drunk, I didn't drink..)

For my birthday I got: Pendulum CD, camera, money, Twilight series (apart from the third one), Jeans, Jewellry.. and probably more stuff; but I really can't remember what anymore.

Right, I'm tired.. its 1:41ishh in the morning. and I have to be up at 9:30 to go to drama for 10:30!
Fun, fun, fun (in the morning sun(8) haha)
xo

Today I've been at a theme-park, in Chessington, which is South.. east of London.. I think.
Not actually sure xD!

It was actually fun, and I got over my fear of roller-coasters! (yey!)
But then, came this roller-coaster, and out comes my phone from my pocket and falls on to the ground, somewhere.
We had to wait until the ride closed at the end of the day until I could get someone to retrieve it.
Yes! I have it back, but its really badly scratched now.
I am sooo glad I got it back though, as it had my pictures from Linkin Park on there!

Now, as I've told you about my favourite site previously; it's still having problems. It's really annoying me to be honest.
One minute the pages won't load, then they will, then they're slow.. but now, its going on to different parts of the site, like the gallery.
It's really making me angry.
AGH.. like GRRH'ish!

At least Big Brother's helping me, because they're wearing ridiculous animal clothing.
Right, I'm off to talk about my favourite site on Skype <3

I need somewhere to vent this out, because one of my all time favourite sites is down, and that's where I'd usually vent stuff like this.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother to call some of my friends.. friends.
I've told this to a few people via Skype today.

My so called 'bestfriend' had a go at me for laughing at this "disadvantaged boy" (that she knew over the internet), when I saw him in town recently.

FIRSTLY: I found it incredibly rude to be awoken by this text.
SECONDLY: I didn't laugh at him, or anything from that sort of manner; so I have no idea how she got that through her head.

She makes things up alot, which I hate, she always does, she's lost friends because of lying.. I've already given her a second chance.
I'm not giving her a third.

To be honest, she should know I wouldn't make fun of people who are disadvantaged naming the circumstances of my family, and my parents choosing the option to put my sister "to sleep" because they wanted more children. Simply, if they kept my sister, me and my brothers wouldn't exist. I wouldn't be here typing this right now.

So, I retaliated hard, and then she brought another of my friends into it.
The worst thing is, she can't even do it face-to-face because she can't stand up for herself, she just walks away and goes and finds a teacher to hide away with.
She did this through myspace and texting.

"HOW THE F*** IS IT FUNNY WHEN YOU SEE MY BLIND FRIEND UP THE CITY?? how in the right mind is that f***in funny?? IM TELLING YOU NOW ITS not!!
p*ssed off that you could say that about a friend of mine and not care about how i wud of felt when you said it :@
your a little bitch for sayin hes blind then laughing, im sorry that really isnt on.
you know i help in special needs, and you know i like helping people with special needs.
so why f***in take the p*ss outta them??
when special needs helped you alot last yr.. n this is the thanks they get..

i would think alot more carefully about what you say to people."

That was quoted from her comment to me on myspace.
So lets go through that..

• I didn't find it funny, I found it completely random I saw him.
• I didn't laugh.
• I helped in special needs too, and I love helping with them.. I also know a lot of people who have special needs.
• I didn't take this p*ss out of them.

She seriously blows things out of proportion. Like 23991489320 x a billion
This is exactly what happened last year though.. someone made something up, sent me a text.. I lost all my friends.
This is doing the exact same thing, exactly a year after..
I think I'm glad I've left school now, and I'm not going back next year.

I need new friends, because the set I have now, I can't call them friends, at all.
Ahh, I feel better now.
I can't tell anyone in my family.. cos they don't really care about my problems, and don't give me good response.

(Y'know the funny thing? my sister was born on my due date only.. 6 years before hand..)

Today I went to see Linkin Park!
But as well as them, I saw N*E*R*D, The Bravery, Enter Shikari, Pendelum and Jay-Z!
Okay.. so here is what I thought of them.

The Bravery
Okay, I really wasn't listening to them, as I was trying to find my friends, but wow, the main singer was fit!

N*E*R*D
WOW, seriously. Pharell William's is H-O-T! Though, he got booed; cos he had a go at the people who weren't joining in.. they were the ones that booed him. Gosssh, he was amaazing.

Enter Shikari
Okay, the drummer.. he looks like my friends. Okay.. I have these two friends.. who happen to be twins Jamie and Chris. The drummer, looked like a cross between them; they're not identical. Seriously, he was good at drumming, dancing, acting crazy. Mann, they come from St. Albans which is like the next town/city from here! LEGENDS to be honest!

Jay-Z
We were all debating on whether he was lip-syncing or not.. I don't think he was; cos otherwise he wouldn't have been able to do half the rapping he did! He was really good 'Ninety-Nine problems and the bitch ain't one.' I really am glad he came back out for Linkin Park!

Pendelum
To be honest, I didn't think they were as good as I thought they were going to be. But then again, these three girls.. whom I hate.. they used to go to my school.. and their friend Paije used to uh, bully me.. but we're friends now.. but they're still not. Yeah those three girls, just ruined it for me. Though 'Propane Nightmares' was awesome.

Linkin Park
Now the main act. Whew, they were fricking amazing! Seriously! They came out singing the song they did with Jay-Z, without him! It didn't sound right! They sang all their main hits. Then they went off, for 10 minutes. They then came back on and sang the song with Jay-Z, oh my gooooosh it was amazing, they went off again this time the drummer stayed on, and they came back on after he'd done his drum solo; to sing 'Bleed it out'.. ooooh that was awesome.

So all in all, this had to have been the best gig I've ever been. It definitely beats Robbie Williams, Blue and this Summer XS thing I went to.. even though McFLY was in the Summer XS thing, this still beat that.

Anywhos, I'm off to talk on Skype again.
Adios for now!